


Sunday Morning

by prettyoddsoren



Category: Loveless
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Canon Continuation, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Manga & Anime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 09:43:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20598707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyoddsoren/pseuds/prettyoddsoren
Summary: Eight years go by in the blink of an eye.Seasons change, and people don’t, and if they’re gone they stay gone. Or that seemed to be the case anyways, because it had been eight years since Soubi had disappeared with his brother. And it was as if the ground had swallowed him.Life moved on, certainly.And inevitably so, Ritsuka had as well.





	Sunday Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, here's the deal folks:
> 
> I am finishing my undergrad thesis and my brain thought it was a good idea to re-read and re-watch Loveless. I've caved myself in a hole and I don't know how to get out. That being said, it's been YEARS since I published something (I know, that Bagginshield fic is looking at me), and it feels good to just whip up a fic.
> 
> This is supposed to be canon compliant, and I've only picked up from where the last issue of Loveless left us. Please, Yun Kouga, please continue and finish Loveless. It's such a good manga, honestly. 
> 
> ANYHOW. Please enjoy I guess, be aware that English is not my mother tongue, and that I tried. I did try.

Eight years go by in the blink of an eye.

Seasons change, and people don’t, and if they’re gone they stay gone. Or that seemed to be the case anyways, because it had been eight years since Soubi had disappeared with his brother. And it was as if the ground had swallowed him.

Life moved on, certainly.

And inevitably so, Ritsuka had as well.

Life had also brought a lot of struggle. As much as he’d hate to admit, having Soubi around when he was a child had helped a bit. He didn’t feel as alone and forgotten as he had during the period of his brother’s apparent demise. Soubi, in all of his weirdness and peculiarity, had brought companionship. Even warmth. Ritsuka, however, didn’t believe he’d ever loved him. Not on his own accord anyways. All mere orders of his brother who also turned to be a lie. Or a façade. Either way, a command.

How could Ritsuka believe that every “I love you” that spilled from his lips was true? How, if he had shown his true colors when Seimei barked an order?

“Don’t go”, he’d said. And he doesn’t remember now to have seen any regrets or sadness in Soubi’s face. Well, let’s rephrase: he remembers it vividly. He can recall frame by frame the pure anguish in Soubi’s face. His hesitance. He didn’t want to go. Not really.

But in the end he did. And that was all that mattered in the end, because it had left him alone for eight slow, and cold years.

His mother had continued the same mental game with him, until one day after he’d turned thirteen when she had injured him gravely. The authorities finally stepped in, and with help of his teacher Hitomi and doctor Katsuko, he was able to emancipate from his parents. His father had been significantly absent from his life, and Ritsuka downright refused to go with him when he reappeared. So, a monthly allowance was set for him, and Ritsuka came in to live with Yuiko and her family.

It had been a 180° change for Ritsuka. Everything was so different with Yuiko and her parents. At first, it had been hard to just adapt to a new environment where he didn’t have to be looking over his shoulder all the time. Yuiko’s mother was kind to him, kindness he hadn’t felt for a long while. It was bittersweet. His mother had been a good mother, before she fell ill. He missed her terribly, but the situation was just unbearable for him.

His father would visit him on the weekends, and the would talk about their family, and past memories Ritsuka wasn’t really sure he had. They would visit his mother in the hospital where she was being taken care of, and some days were better than others. She had some flashes of memory here and there, and whenever Ritsuka visited her, she didn’t lash out as badly as before. It was more of a sad expression on her face.

Life became... stale.  
Ritsuka went through each day concentrated in the present, really. He got through middle school and preparatory with great grades and friends here and there. Yuiko and Yayoi were still his closest friends, however, and even Youji and Natsuo visited often. But life had lost something. A bit of flavor.

When Soubi had disappeared from Earth, colors around him had muted.

University had been hard work, of course. Ritsuka had chosen to be a psychologist, having doctor Katsuko as his mentor. His days were spent now reading, attending classes, doing his exams, and finishing his thesis. He was a very smart man, had always been as a child, and all his effort had paid off. He’d gotten a scholarship all through university, so any money he came across with, was destined to his well being. He had also continued his therapy sessions with doctor Katsuko, and had improved a lot over the years.

He still thought there was a different Ritsuka, one from the past. The one his mother claimed to have lost. He also thought, deep in his heart, that this event was closely linked to his brother’s fake assassination and disappearance.

But he’d never know the truth, anyways. His brother may as well be dead for sure now.

And Soubi...

He thought about him. All the time.

Ritsuka still kept the old flip-phone stuck inside a drawer in his closet. A thousand times he’d thought of throwing it away, crushing it apart. Make it just bits and pieces of a past that wasn’t going to come back even if he wished for it with all his might. But it was a piece of hope, deep down. That if the phone were working, it would ring. And Soubi would return to him.

Would explain.

His ears were still on place. A small token from the past, if you may, because as much as he had improved with other people and had gained a resemblance of a normal life, he was still wary of bonding with others. Establishing relationships was exhausting. And to be honest, he was deeply unsure of trusting anyone at all anymore. His days were spent going to university, working in a library in campus, spending time home, and visiting his friends. He would still go to his mother’s every once in a while, to see her for a bit. To talk to her, even though she was more a ghost than anything else now.

And so, Ritsuka moved on.

* * *

It was cold in the early morning when he woke up, out of the blue.

  
The city was quiet outside his home, while Ritsuka tried to make sense of what had woken him up. It wasn’t a nightmare, definitely. His dreams were mostly repetitions of his day-to-day now. He had hoped, some years before, to at least being able to see Soubi in dreams. But not even that.

He sat up on the bed and scrubbed his eyes. This was unusual.

The air around him felt heavy, as if summer with heavy rains had just arrived. Ritsuka sighed and got up from bed, walking towards the kitchen for a glass of water. He could hear the soft noise of his neighbours still up late, living in a university housing and all. But the noise wasn’t what woke him up.

He closed his eyes, and listened carefully to a soft hum. It was soothing, in a way empty spaces would fill in with noise from outside. The hum reverberated around his head, and then he felt it inside his chest. It tickled, almost, and he allowed himself to chuckle.

Then, he felt a soft burn on his left side, up his chest.

“What in the--”, he whispered. Setting the glass on the counter, he went to the bathroom and lifted up his t-shirt.

There, in small lines, almost like a fresh tattoo, was that word. His name.

_loveless_, it said.

Ritsuka stood looking at the mirror for a while, speechless. Was this a dream? Could he still be dreaming?

He pinched his cheek hard enough for it to hurt, just to confirm what he already knew. This was no dream, was no hallucination. There, in the flesh, was finally his name. But why? Why now? What kind of a joke was this in any case? Eight long years of nothing and suddenly his name branded on his skin. But then, his fighter? Where was his _sentouki_ anyways?

“What a big joke”, he spat, and covered his torso again.

There was little to be done about it. Best to forget it. Like everything else, because what was the point.

And then, there was a knock at the door.

Ritsuka’s heart started racing. He ran a mental list of the people who had his address and tried to count them off. Yayoi and Yuiko were in a trip overseas, so that was definitely not them. It couldn’t be Youji and Natsuo either, since they had met earlier in the week, and last he knew they were going back to the Academy to do more training. His father would call before coming over. His mother, well.

  
That left only two possibilities, and he was worried about the latter. Last time he had seen Seimei he had effectively blinded a man with a knife, and used his blood to write on a wall. That wasn’t the kind of person he wanted near him. Last time he had seen Seimei, he had made him suffer.

He walked towards the door, hesitant, and waited. Faintly enough, there was knock at the door again, and underneath the door he could see a shadow casted on the floor. The air around him became heavier and his heart was racing faster. Somehow, he knew. His heart knew.

Unlocking the door, in the corridor under the bright fluorescent lights, Soubi was standing, looking the same as he’d last seen him. His hair perhaps longer, fashioned in a braid, and his glasses that had seen better days. No bags in sight. Clad in his long, black coat, Soubi stared at him with a faint smile on his lips, hesitant. Breathing became harder for Ritsuka, as he stood motionless at the door.

“Ritsuka, hello”, he said. He didn’t move.

“I am still dreaming, right? I am in bed. I am going to wake up and this will only be a dream and a memory that my brain will forget”, Ritsuka muttered, out of breath. He extended his hand towards Soubi, trying to touch him anywhere, but took it back. However, not fast enough for Soubi to miss it. Just like the old days, he pulled it closer, and pressed a soft kiss on top of it.

“You’re here. But- how did you-?”, Ritsuka stammered. He wasn’t able to complete the sentence.

“Can we come inside?”, Soubi said, almost in a whisper, letting go of his hand. Ritsuka nodded, and gave way for Soubi to come in.

He closed the door behind them, and turned around to stare at him. They both stood in silence.

To occupy himself, Ritsuka went to the kitchen and started a pot of water for some tea. Soubi followed him, and sat down on a stool.

“This... how did you find my address?”, the young man said, busying himself with a pair of mugs, and the tea bags.

“At the Academy. I ran into Youji and Natsuo”, Soubi replied, taking off his coat. “I asked them about you, they... didn’t want to tell me. I understand why”, he sighed. Ritsuka nodded.

“You’re away for eight years and then drop by my place as if it weren’t a big deal”, Ritsuka replied, his voice tinted with anger. There was a lot inside he had strived to sweep away, underneath a heavy carpet of memories. But that didn’t seem to hold now that Soubi was there in the flesh.

“I-Ritsuka, it was...I have no excuse, of course”, Soubi replied, ashamed. “Seimei’s name etched on my skin, you may think it was nonsense, but the bond was strong”, he sighed.

“You never cared to explain. All I knew was from what others told me. All I knew was that our names were different and that you didn’t belong to me”.

The teapot piped and Ritsuka killed the fire. He poured two mugs of tea, the same he used to have at Soubi’s house when he was only a child. He pushed one towards the tall blonde.The heat from the mug was comforting, in a familiar way. Suddenly, Ritsuka thought while looking at them in such comfortable setting, this was the past. Nothing had changed for a brief second or two. He blew on his tea and took a sip.

“Your brother is dead, truly this time”, Soubi commented. Ritsuka was surprised to hear about it, and deep down something close to sadness blossomed. He knew though, that that Seimei was never going to be the brother he’d grown up with. The brother he looked up to, and who cared so much about his family and others. No, that Seimei had died for him the day he had robbed Soubi from him in such a painful way. Giving him orders as if he were a dog, or worse. Treating Soubi like a mere puppet. No, he had died long ago.

“And so, you came back. Why are you here Soubi? I do appreciate the information about my brother and it makes me calm that I don’t have to sleep with one eye open. But I would’ve heard about it anyways. You know how Youji is”, Ritsuka replied. “My brother died the day he disappeared, when he took you away”.

Soubi looked up from the hot tea, and looked at Ritsuka. It was as if a dam had opened, because then, Ritsuka let it all out.

“I missed you. Eight years missing you, and it’s not fair Soubi. I often cried at night thinking you could be dead. My heart still hurts when I think of you leaving, wanting to stay but obeying my brother. And I was alone then Soubi, without you everything was worse. I had... nowhere to go or to turn to. Did you know my mother almost killed me? With a knife, she tried. But I managed to dodge it, it was so close. And then life was just passing by. Why didn’t you write to me? Or called? Was I that of a nuisance for you that when Seimei gave the order, you were ready to brush me off?”, he asked. Surprisingly, Ritsuka wasn’t crying, nor yelling. It was as if his heart had rehearsed these words for a long time now, and were calm and steady. Soubi looked at him with a pained expression, and he stood up to reach the younger man.

“I am sorry, Ritsuka”, he whispered. Leaving the tea on the counter, Soubi pulled Ritsuka towards him, and held him softly enough that he could break away if he wanted. But he did the opposite.

Setting his mug away, Ritsuka wound his arms around him in a familiar embrace. It was different now, him being taller. He was able to hide his face on the crook of Soubi’s neck, and felt his familiar scent of trementine and cigarettes. Suddenly, things clicked into place. The heavy air lifted and he was breathing with ease, taking in this moment as much as possible.  
“I never stopped loving you Soubi”, he cried into his neck, soft tears spilling out. “I thought that I was never going to see you again, but my heart... this useless old thing, it refused to let you go”, he said in a sob. Soubi’s embrace tightened and he rested his cheek atop Ritsuka’s head.

“I’ve loved you always, Ritsuka. And never, in a million years, would I had thought we were going to be separated to just be put back together like it was meant to be from the start”, he whispered. He kissed his head, and put his hands on the young man’s cheeks. They looked at eachother, and every second that passed was heightened by their heartbeats that seemed to echo in the open space of the apartment. Soubi leaned in, and closed his eyes near Ritsuka’s face, brushing his lashes against his cheek. Then, he pressed a tentative kiss on his lips, soft and cautious. Ritsuka's arms tightened, and he responded with all his heart. The kiss was different. He wasn’t sure if maybe it was the years that had separated them, or if just because Seimei was dead, the kiss was now genuine. Free of his influence, of his tight leash over them. Soubi held his face with such care, softness. His lips moved in a soft cadence, not thinking about the world outside, or if the clocks were ticking around them. Right now, it was only them.

“We are the only ones that matter, Ritsuka”, he whispered against his open lips, caressing his cheek. Foreheads resting against each other, gaining their breath again. Ritsuka buried a hand in the long, braided hair, and let it loose. He nodded, and pulled Soubi by the hand, towards the bedroom.

Soubi discarded his clothes and Ritsuka rummaged around for a pair of pijamas that would fit him. He looked worse for wear, but they could take care of everything in the morning. When he was taking his shirt off, Ritsuka looked closely at his torso, and felt as if the floor had disappeared underneath him.

“When... Soubi, did you notice?”, he pointed at his torso, on the right side. In soft calligraphy, different from the angry mark he remembered he had on his neck, was etched _loveless._  
Soubi was startled.

“I--Ritsuka”, he muttered, eyes wide open. Reverently, Soubi Ritsuka traced his fingertips around the letters. He felt as if electricity sparked from them, a feeling so new and foreign since it was a natural mark. A soft, loving mark, despite the apparent meaning it usually carried. A smile was etched on his face, and he blushed. Ritsuka moved towards him, and loosened the bandages around his neck. Surprising them both, his skin was clear, soft, as if no knife had ever marred it in the past. Ritsuka touched his neck with the tips of his fingers, and offered a warm smile to his fighter.

“We’re the only ones that matter, Soubi. You were always right about that”, he smiled, and embraced him with all the love and care he was able to muster there and then. Soubi smiled, and hugged him tighter, wringing laughter from his sacrifice. His true partner. The heavy air around them lifted up, and with a smile, hands wrapped tight, Ritsuka led Soubi down to rest. 

Everything had shifted in a way that made them both lighter. Invincible.

Morning would find them both tangled over the bed, profoundly asleep. Whatever they needed to worry about, was a problem of future Soubi and Ritsuka.


End file.
